The Newspaper News

For the last couple of months, Thing 2 has been bringing home issues of the newspaper that he has been publishing in his spare time (aka when he's supposed to be working at school). It's called The Newspaper News. We love The Newspaper News. I had no idea there were so many scams going on in our neighborhood! I scanned a few of my favorite issues for your viewing pleasure. I have my attempts at the translation underneath, but I warn you that my second grade is a little rusty.

Newspaper
A person is getting money for the poor, but she is actually stealing the money, and the old beggar spent it all on one pair of jeans which is mean!

Newspaper
A man is stealing rubies. He is wearing black stripes and white stripes. He has black thin rubber gloves, and he has a big, big bag.

Newspaper
A man in black is robbing old people. He has stolen 9,000 dollars. He has a big brown bag. He has a knight that is double bladed (I'm thinking he means a sword. I'm sure double bladed knights are hard to come by). He has escaped from jail. He has clothes that are black and white.