Wobbly Bits

What is up with the middle-aged-to-old women and locker rooms? Someone needs to teach them how to get dressed without scaring the children. Yesterday, my friends and I took our kids to the pool, and while my friend and her daughter and I were in the women's locker room, there was... an incident. Look, I get that it's a locker room, and people are changing, and everyone is going to see some things. But this lady was not getting dressed. She was just walking around, butt-naked, taking her time, bending over repeatedly as she stuffed things into her bag. Not pretty! In my mind, I was pleading with her to stop stalling and get dressed already. I wanted to run to all the children and cover their eyes. To quote Bridget Jones, we don't want to be seeing your wobbly bits, lady.

I move that anyone who violates the Fireball Locker Room Changing Standards (not giving little children nightmares) should have to be paired up with a surfer for changing lessons. Have you seen these guys getting dressed in beach parking lots? They are masters! And half the time they're dealing with wet suits. All they need is a water jug and a towel, and in two minutes they've had a shower, they're dressed and ready for work, and no flashing. No wobbly bits.