Tomorrow

It was just over four years ago that I was lying in a hospital bed, fighting for my life. The doctors had no idea what was wrong with me, so they put me in the oncology wing. I slept most of the time. I couldn't keep any food down. I looked like a skeleton and had dark circles under my eyes. I endured so many tests. I had transformed into a human pincushion. I was so dehydrated that they had trouble taking my blood; the barely twenty year old lab techs had to stick me five or six times every test just to hit a vein. I remember one time one of the techs just came into my room and I burst into tears.

Lying in that room, I felt closer to God than I have at any other time in my life. I prayed a lot. I was edging close to the end of my life, and I had an overwhelming feeling that if I went, I would be okay. I had lived a good life. But I thought of my sweet husband. I thought of my three boys - six years, three years, and two months old. Still babies. They needed a mother. I had so much left to teach them. I prayed fervently to my Heavenly Father that I would get to raise my boys. And then, somehow, I knew that my prayers would be answered and I would live. The next day, the doctors figured it out - Addison's disease. Within a day or two, I was playing cards with my family, bored, ready to get out of bed and eat anything salty.

I'm not sure if I would trade that experience. I hate that it caused my family stress, especially Sparky. I hate that I did not have enough energy to be a good mother for months before I was diagnosed. But I don't take life for granted. I thank God every day that I am alive. The time with my children is precious. My time with Sparky is a gift. The little things don't matter as much as they used to.

When I was sick, and even just after I was diagnosed, I never thought I would be able to run again. But over the last four years, I've slowly built up my strength so that now I can run regularly. I do it for my kids. I want to be as healthy as I possibly can for them. Tomorrow is a big milestone for me. I'm running the Seattle Rock and Roll Half Marathon - my first half marathon since my diagnosis. I am dedicating this race to my kids. I'm pretty sure that they are the reason that I'm alive today. And I'm so happy to be doing this race with Sparky. Everything is ten times better when he's around.